College Compisition II

Hi everyone
It has been a crazy week for me. trying to everything ready for Christmas and work. i almos forgot the blood drive at work was on Tuesday and it is my job to make sure everything goes off without a hitch. (talk about stress) I am going to put just a touch of my first draft here and hopefully you guys can give me some feedback. I love to write and I seem to be having a hard time with this paper and I am lost as to why. Here it is:

Hypertension is known as the silent killer and the reason would be, because most people do not know they have this disease. Hypertension unchecked can affect the heart, kidneys, and even the brain. Most of the people who have hypertension are not aware of this until it is too late. The unaware need to be educated on the effects of hypertension and what it can do to the body. Some effects can be short term, others long term and still others can be fatal. According to Rech, of the one third of Americans only about two-thirds are aware of their hypertension. (2008)
Hypertension can affect the arteries. Healthly arteries are flexible and strong, elastic. (Mayoclinic) High blood pressure can damage the inner lining of the artery causing what we know as an aneurysm. This is when the pressure on the artery can rupture and cause internal bleeding which is life threatening.
The arteries are not the only thing affected by hypertension. The heart, kidneys, eyes and your brain can also be affected. It will cause your heart to over work to keep blood pumping to your other organs and increase the risk of a heart attack.